I recently purchased a Fallkniven Northern Light Thor Bowie from CrocBlades.com and decided to do a review. A little background, Fallkniven is a rather big knife manufacturer in Sweden run by Peter Hjortberger. Apparently he started his buisness back in 1984 importing knives and still does the same damn thing.

The Fallkniven Northern Light Thor Bowie is actually made in Japan, no surprise there as the owner of the company started by importing knives. The knife is billed as a exclusive high dollar item as compared to the rest of the companies offering with the Thor bowie commanding prices upwards of $700US dollars. You would think for that kind of coin you wouldn’t get a lump of shit but that’s exactly what I got.

My first impressions wasn’t really what I had expected for the amount of money I have spent on this blade. I love knives and own a few of them but this own just seemed to be yet another knife which the manufacture…er I mean company owner thinks is deserving of a price tag upwards of $700 bucks. My first impression was that, “Damn, did I just buy another Cold Steel Trailmaster?” I then compared this knife against my Cold Steel Trailmaster and I shit you not, these two knives were probably made in the same damn factory in Japan the only difference is that the Cold Steel CEO probably has better quality control over his japanese monkeys than Peter Hjortberger. While this review isn’t meant to compare one knife against the other, the Cold Steel blade was thicker, heavier and felt better in the hand.

The Fallkniven Northern Light Thor Bowie tries to pass itself off as a heavy duty knife but from all the reports I heard of its steel chipping I doubt it could serve in that role. I bought this knife solely for use as a weapon and even then I wouldn’t trust my life with it despite its 10″ reach. See below for a video of issues Fallkniven knives have with being used…their blades tend to chip way too easy.

The second thing I noticed about this knife was that along the spine it has small indentations, almost undetectable it can be picked up in direct light revealing the unevenness and small dents all along the spine itself. My photos don’t capture everything but it is clearly evident.

The third thing I noticed was a FUCKING CHIP on the blade point. Seriously what the fuck Peter Hjortberger! You’d think for $700 bucks you can at least get off your fat swedish ass and do some God damn quality control on your so called “Northern Light Thor Bowie”. Shit, this knife doesn’t even deserved to be called a Bowie, it should be called a “Swedish Fuck Stick!” or better yet call it the “Peter I Don’t Give a Fuck Hjortberger Bowie!”

Man, that shit still pisses me off! What the fuck!

Any ways lets move on to its shitty sheath which the “company” claims is made out of high quality leather. Shit, ever buy your kids a cap gun that comes in some shitty holster made in Mexico? Yea, well this fucking sheath is made in that same fucking assembly line. I’m not big on sheaths as long as its constructed half way descent but God damn Peter Hjortberger you mailed me a sheath with a mother fucking hole in it! Yea, a fucking HOLE in a brand new sheath.

Let’s not even get started on the piss poor sheath quality and the fact that the mother fucker was painted. Yes, you heard right nigga, FUCKING PAINTED! Was this thing assembled in Mexico or the back streets of India.

Single stitching on a knife weighing over a pound, classy Peter Hjortberger, fucking classy!

Oh yea, one last thing the butt had dirt in it. Imagine that, a dirty fucked up knife with a chipped tip and a crappy sheath. What a piece of shit.

If you came here wanting to read a Fallkniven Northern Light Thor Bowie Review I’ll make it simple for you, save your money and buy a Cold Steel Trailmaster. Its a much better knife at a fraction of the price. Peter Hjortberger is a fucking little swedish bitch who doesn’t stand by his products. I sent him a email detailing how fucking shitty his product was and this was his response.

Dear Sir,

I’m sorry to hear that your NL1 knife wasn’t to your expectations, Of course a new, expensive knife like this should be free from defects.

The only thing you shall do is to return it to your dealer, explaining the reasons why you wish to return the knife and he will take care of your problems.

Best regards
Peter Hjortberger

Mother Fucking Douche, go fuck yourself!

I’m not an airsofter by any means but I do use airsoft to practice basic handgun grip and trigger pull. Any ways, long story short I bought a cheapo airsoft target and CO2 powered pistol a while back at Wally World.

I mounted this cheap Chinese made contraption to the wall and it was a great way to practice when I couldn’t get additional range time. Well long story short I managed to break my airsoft target, something I figured was impossible.

I tried to continue to use it but apparently the hole in the target now acts like some type of “vortex” and sucks all the pullets into it that are even remotely close to the bulls eye.

As you can see the airsoft pellet went right through it, no idea how that happened. I tried putting some duck tape on it but again it went right through it. Any ways, just a slow Sunday afternoon, maybe I should get one of those new fangled bullite system.

Range Day January 26

Well time for another range day, I actually go to the range once a week but lately (as in this last month) I haven’t gone in almost a month. As such my shooting quality has degraded a bit. Well I decided to go the range this weekend and correct that lack of training. Unfortunately the range was crowded with many people so I was stuck on the rifle range with a few other handgun shooters. Well, like an idiot I didn’t want to seem like a dope so I put the target out at approximately 30 yards. Why 30 yards, because I can’t eye ball distance worth a damn. Apparently everyone else was shooting at targets much closer, but whatever. On this particular day I was sick and I’m pretty sure I had pink eye on top of that, oh yea and I was shooting Blazer ammunition. Why was I shooting Blazer, because it’s been a tight month that’s why! We all can’t roll up to the range in a Corvette Z06 and unless 300 rounds from a Bill Wilson.

Any ways, moving right along after setting up my target and trying to figure out which one of pink eye infected eyes had better vision I engaged my targets. After firing eight shots of the world’s cheapest mass production ammo I took this photo of my target.

At 30 yards maybe my finger was riding the trigger to much, I don’t know. Honestly I didn’t really care too much because it was becoming more and more evident I was actually very sick and shouldn’t be outside, but hell, that never stopped me before from doing anything!

I loaded up another 8 rounds in my Wilson Combat magazine ($36.00 MSRP) that surprisingly caused failure to feeds on the last round, and shot again.

This wasn’t much better; again my trigger pull needs some work.

And again with another eight rounds, this time it was slightly better and I corrected my trigger pull and sight picture. Keep in mind that this was about thirty yards, with wind, I was sick, and shooting Blazer ammo.

Now that I have proven I can barely handle the .45ACP I move onto the .44MAG with a 4” barrel. Keep in mind I wasn’t shooting any pussy .44 Mag loads; these are real deal magnum loads. Why do I practice with magnum loads, because I firmly believe that you “train as you fight”? I also practice with .357 Magnums in a 2” barrel compact revolver for that very same reason. I also shoot revolvers in double action, why would you buy a double action revolver and shoot it singly action is BEYOND me. Hell, you could have just gotten a peacemaker but whatever.

Any ways, the first shot was on the money but then I was either flinching or pink eye induced sight picture just wasn’t cutting it at 30 yards.

Well needless to say I was sick as a dog and very tired. So what do I do, head off to the gym with Mrs.ShoreLeave because she didn’t want to go alone.

Also, on a side note my Springfield Armory 1911 “Loaded” – loaded with bullshit apparently – has had a few problems such as failure to feeds and failures to eject so I sent it back to Springfield (along with another firearm…a whole different story). Well the good folks at Springfield replaced the barrel with a match barrel, the bushing, and even polishing the feed ramp. The end result was that my 1911 ran without a hiccup with the exception of the last round hanging up that I suspect was due to the 8 round Wilson Combat magazine. Needless to say, from here on out all my future handgun purchases will be Sigs.

Morale of the story

1. Know how far you are shooting, don’t just shoot at shit far away because it could be 30 yards or 50 but honestly I have no idea.
2. Don’t go shooting if you have pink eye
3. Medication and handguns aren’t exactly a good mix.

Well my CZ 75 compact that I reviewed earlier has passed on.

Well not so much passed on as it has finally been fixed. After another range report I had experience a failure to feed on EVERY single round. After changing much parts and two trips to a gunsmith I had finally thrown in the towel and traded that Slavic piece of shit for a real firearm. A Springfield Armory 1911-A1 .45 loaded. Right out of the box this bad boy worked, no problem, no failure to eject, no failure to feeds, nothing. It just worked plain and simple. It is nice to look at and a beauty to behold.

It doesn’t have any cheap baked on finish, its stainless steel. I bought that piece of Slavic shit after hearing rave reviews from many people but failed to take a lot of other factors into account. For example I am extremely hard on my guns, I go to the range at least once and twice a weak and do live fire drills regularly. I demand perfection. I am surprised CZ-USA is even still in business but I suppose they are just riding out the success of their CZ-75 models, which nearly all of which suck except for the pre-B version. The CZ 75 is, and always has been, a Slavic piece of shit for cockfags who have no idea what in the hell they are doing.

Long live John Moses’ Brownings 1911!

Its Tuesday, mother fucking Tuesday and today I am in an extremely bad mood. Recently I purchased a H.A.K. or Hide Away Knife from Front Sight. I am not even sure if they still call themselves “Front Sight” anymore.

Let me begin with a little background of Front Sight or other wise known as Hide Away Knife. Apparently some woman was accosted, harassed, molested, raped, or intimidated and decided she needed a way to defend herself. She looked around and didn’t find a weapon to her liking so she developed to this knife.

The Hide Away Knife is a highly concealable blade with high retention capability. Because each HAK knife is custom fitted to the user’s fingers it will retain retention no matter what happens. The HAK knife fits over the index and middle finger to ensure retention and allows the user to have usage of their hands. Unlike a Karambit, the user can still grasp and perform fine motor movements (such as typing) while utilizing the HAK knife.

After hearing all the praise regarding the HAK knife I decided to order one from their website. I ordered a basic “claw” HAK knife for $79 dollars and couldn’t wait to utilize this knife while doing magazine changes and concealed carry drills.

I will go on record by saying HAK is the world’s worst customer. My first couple of emails was answered but continued questioning of “Where is my product?” resulted in total apathy. The HAK website is a textbook example of how NOT to design a website. It took me a good 15 minutes to even figure out how to order my knife (which required registration for some odd reason). After nearly a month and a half I finally received my HAK knife. At this point I was trying to figure out how to cancel my order so I was surprised when the package showed up. Well the surprise didn’t end there, I received the wrong knife and it failed to fit my fingers properly. Only after removing the “paracord” was I able to fit my fingers through the HAK knife.

The HAK knife wasn’t sharp at all. I expected this to be razor sharp and instead it was rather dull and ill fitted. The HAK knife has the words “sneaky sharp” all over its website, this knife was anything but.

Speaking of “anything but”, I’m not sure who ran on a train on the HAK’s creator but this knife was a total joke. I had purchased this knife because this “woman” had thought it would be a great self-defense tool. Well this knife is great if you want to piss off your attacker royally.

The blade is less than 2 inches. You heard me right, less than 2 inches! How in the hell am I supposed to defend myself with a blade that is less than 2 inches? My military background leads to me to believe that a 4 inch blade is “border lining” so I won’t even begin to consider a 2 inch blade.

This knife is BARELY suited to be a letter opener. Of course, some people love there HAK knives so much they have two of them, what the fuck for, I have no idea. I suppose that for law enforcement this knife is on the money as most law enforcement are prohibited from carrying a fix blade past a certain length or using their brains in decision making processes.

Like I always say, some people will like the HAK knife and some people like getting fucked up the ass. Make your own decisions accordingly.

The HAK knife is poorly suited for any tasks that require a blade or even scissors. I suggest you save your money and purchase a CRKT K.I.S.S. knife or a box cutter from Wal-Mart. I have seen some bullshit products in my day but the HAK knife takes the cake! The dumb bitch that invented this “thing” has no fucking clue about self defense. Surprisingly she quit due to menopause or something and some other douche bag took over operations. Speaking of which, if anyone wants my HAK knife it’s for sale.

But wait there is more, some people actually DO like this piece of crap, check out the following YouTube video of a HAK in action.

Notice anything interesting in that video? Like the fact that he’s a kid and has acne? Let’s not forget about all the ANIME POSTERS IN HIS ROOM! Oh yea, a real fucking american badass, but wait there’s more!

Notice how in this video the HAK looks about as effective as a PAIR OF CAR KEYS! The best part of these youtube videos is the “HAK in action” series, which is nothing more than martial arts used with a HAK. For every time you punch just use your HAK instead. I’m not sure where these people learned to use edged weapons but a knife is a knife. If you try to supplement your martial arts skills by just putting a knife in your hand you will get your ass kicked royally. A intermediate martial artist could counter 90% of these textbook moves and send the idiot flying. A knife should be used as a knife, it has an intrinsic advantage that many people fail to understand or take into consideration, namely DISTANCE. And distance is the MAIN reason why a 2″ to 3″ blade is useless. You should seek to use distance and speed as your weapon when utilizing a edged weapon, when you get close, too many different factors get thrown in and it quickly turns into “anyone’s game”. At that point your edged weapon is merely a liability to yourself. Don’t be stupid, if you want to defend yourself then don’t take some stupid shortcut designed by a secretary. Get some good literature on how to use a knife. A good way to tell if your author is full of crap is that your training originates in the Philippines. Phillipino martial arts wants to treat every weapon the same way. A stick, a knife, a sword, whatever, its all the same moves. Stay the fuck away from that crap, a knife isn’t a stick! About the best resources for successfully utilizing a knife is an old production from “Underground SurferFighters Productions” entitled Instructional JKD. The tape is old and I only have it on VHS. It is a common sense approach to using a knife without a bunch of forms, kata, or other useless crap that three angry minorities in a dark alley fail to understand. With that said, the HAK is a piece of crap.

Ah the Balisong, second in popularity perhaps only to the “Samurai Sword”. Sought out by fan-boys yet despised by armchair commandos and outright banned for carry by most states the Balisong is both feared and loved.

My history with the Balisong goes back a long time ago, very long ago. The first time I saw a Balisong in action was while watching the famous B-movie classic, American Ninja! The American Ninja was a fucking badass; he was a ninja and an American, what else could be said? Portrayed as a moody U.S. Army loner that has a disdain for authority, I first caught a glimpse of the Balisong in action as the hero was passing the time by flipping it around.

I thought to myself, “FUCKING COOL!”, and I had to get one!

At the time I didn’t know anything about Balisongs or knives for that matter, all I knew is that I wanted to the first kid on my block with a knife that could flip around in order to better confirm my status of “badassery”.

I had acquired not one but two Balisongs with which to practice SIMULTANESOULY! I thought nothing of taking on this challenge, after all if some kid in the underdeveloped shit-hole known as the philippines could do it why can’t I? Within a short amount of time I was flipping around those knives with ease while channel surfing. I even managed to develop a few of my own techniques to boot. However the Balisongs that I purchased (for the whopping price of $30 dollars) were not the quality product I expected for the hard earned money I spent earned as a paperboy. Within a short amount of time some of the baked on glaze began to chip off and the lock would no longer hold. The knives felt flimsy after and I was disappointed in the poor level of craftsmanship.

Time had passed and I grew up and forget everything about my balisongs and the fun I had with them. Fast forward nearly a decade later and my curiosity was sparked again as I took part in a discussion regarding the usefulness and practicality of balisongs. The arguments were simple and straight forward. A balisong could be opened quickly in trained hands and was the most secure folding knife in existence. Any traditional folder could fold back onto your fingers (potentially cutting them off) with enough force but a balisong was nearly as strong a fixed blade due to its design. Just looking a balisong and you can quickly realize why some regard it as the world’s only safe folder.

However the issue of speed was another matter entirely. The balisong needed fine motor skills in order to manipulate. Furthermore it required four to five distinct movements in order to open and secure the knife; these movements could be practiced with time but required fine motor skills such as manipulating the lock with two fingers and flipping the knife while holding it between your index finger and thumb while spinning simultaneously. These types of fine motor skills were certainly not going to be performed in a “shit hits the fan situation” or when blood, mud, sweat, snow, and gloves are factored in to the equation. You also need degrees of movement in order to perform these tricky manipulations, certainly not something that is abundant supply in a car, tank, helicopter, military grade SUV, trench, fox hole, etc.

Most balisong blades are small, at least small to my standards. A “stab and twist” would not be nearly as effective as the blade lacks the weight and width to cause serious crippling damage when one needs it. Sure, there are lots of videos on YouTube of people demonstrating their balisong skills on an opponent who “just stands there and allows himself to get slashed and stabbed”. Even worse is the now infamous video of the Asian girl showing off her balisong skills by SPEEDING UP THE CAMERA so she looks faster than she really is (notice how her shirt and hair move EXTREMELY fast…).

The truth is that the balisong is not fast at all. Granted in the hands of an “expert” it may be fast I seriously doubt that on average the balisong is faster than a spring-assisted or automatic knife. Perhaps in decades past before the balisong was invented it was the fastest folding knife in the world; in today’s modern age it is simply sharp unsafe toy. Nearly half of the videos of people demonstrating balisong skills on YouTube consist of either A. heavily edited videos that have been substantially sped up or B. the guy drops his balisong at least twice while performing some manipulation.

The fastest folding knife in existence is easily an Emerson knife with the wave feature. Within a split second the knife is folded out, locked securely, and ready for any task. I have yet to meet anyone that is faster than a BEGINNER using the “wave feature”.

Any ways, back to the topic. The knife I purchased was a Benchmade Balisong 42. Apparently the handles are made out of titanium and this “42” series is considered the cream de la crème of balisongs. If this $200 dollar knife is the “cream de la crème” of balisongs then it confirms my suspicions that most balisong practitioners are teenagers with not a lot of disposable income. $200 dollars is not much for a good knife. I have a Busse that cost me about $600 which could probably chop this balisong in half! If this Balisong is considered the best of the best of production level balisongs then that isn’t saying much. The handles have too much play in them. While reading numerous forums the fix was to simply use a torx screw and loctite to tighten everything up. Well herein lies the problem, if you tighten up a balisong so that the handles have NO play, then you can’t manipulate them, so you have to have some degree of play with the handles in order to manipulate them. What this means is that by manipulating your balisong you will eventually beat up your blade. My blade already has a few significant scratches on it.

All in all, the Balisong is an outdated concept and nothing more than a novelty item. If you want a lightening fast no bullshit knife then get a quality automatic, or a good folder by Emerson or Spyderco with the “wave” feature. The Balisong is a nice way to pass the time while reading the news or emulate a badass Army loner from the American Ninja series but it lacks real world functionality.

With all that said, I think I’ll go play with my balisong now.